so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
worst night to have a conscience
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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