3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
