She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
