Fuck appropriateness.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
