i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
