He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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