the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize
