whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
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Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
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Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men