Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first

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(773): So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first http://tfl.nu/bbw8

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.

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(803): I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone. http://tfl.nu/wy7e

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(619): View more from California

I'm passing your future prison.

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(619): I'm passing your future prison. http://tfl.nu/j7g6

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(859): View more from Kentucky

he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.

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(859): he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day. http://tfl.nu/iow4

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(909): View more from California

so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.

(1-909): View more from California

I worship thee.

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(909): so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed. (1-909): I worship thee. http://tfl.nu/jd00

Replies (54) Good night (8092) Bad night (1071)
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(925): View more from California

Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?

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(925): Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay? http://tfl.nu/89t2

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid

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(203): I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid http://tfl.nu/8jas

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(303): View more from Colorado

If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.

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(303): If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns. http://tfl.nu/xebd

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(206): View more from Washington

dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.

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(206): dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement. http://tfl.nu/2u7j

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(586): View more from Michigan

My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.

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(586): My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage. http://tfl.nu/u2i7

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(714): View more from California

A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.

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(714): A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now. http://tfl.nu/19el

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(206): View more from Washington

I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.

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(206): I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/0ln2

Replies (7) Good night (2390) Bad night (255)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle

(1-303): View more from Colorado

It's like earning obesity badges

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(303): I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle (1-303): It's like earning obesity badges http://tfl.nu/mpfd

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(626): View more from California

I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.

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(626): I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger. http://tfl.nu/jsvx

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(936): View more from Texas

My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.

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(936): My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away. http://tfl.nu/923e

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