Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
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My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
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We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching