I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
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Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
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We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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