I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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