maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
