I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize