Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
What a dumb baby whore.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
