11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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