Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
