New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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