I just made out with a guy for $7.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
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birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
my being single is dangerous.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
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You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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