doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
