He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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