Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
