you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I am midnight drunk by noon
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
