so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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