So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
