Dual....:-)
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
