Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
