did you get engaged???
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize