and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
