Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
