They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
