As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
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All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
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jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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