Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
