I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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