making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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