I just cut my nipple shaving
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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