Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
