i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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