I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize