I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
