dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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