That's intense
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
