my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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