rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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