so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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