god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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