Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
