my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize