So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
