to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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