I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
