I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
