"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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