I can tuck mytits in my pants
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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