just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
