new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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