I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
