im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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