I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
What a dumb baby whore.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
