I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
