just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
