problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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