butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
